This is probably getting linked to by everyone by now, but it is so wonderfully entertaining. It reminds me of thought experiments that an old friend and I did in Physics class in high school.
And that’s all I really need to say on that matter.
I finally found the .Net Framework objects that allow execution of a shell command! Took long enough, but I found a hint finally here and the SDK documentation and examples are really quite good once you know what object to look for.